You met an amazing guy the other day. He had it all. He was smart and funny. He had class, his own home, and a high paying job. He drove you to dinner in his awesome new car. You thought the evening went phenomenally. So why hasn’t he responded to your texts or calls? There could be any number of reasons that he’s not responding to you and your attempts. It’s not uncommon for a woman to worry that she did something wrong. Here are some of the most common reasons he might not be calling back.
How Soon And How Often Have You Called?
You shot him a text a few minutes after you parted letting him know you had a great time. If it’s been a few days and that’s the only correspondence you’ve sent then perhaps he’s waiting for a little something more than that. Try sending a simple text to see how his day is going.
After that text did you call twelve times and text every two minutes? Have you already asked him what you’ve done wrong? If so, he’s probably already changed your contact name to “Crazy Girl” and chalked you up as just another psycho. You might as well scrap it too and move on.
There’s a balance between not enough contact and WAY too much that sometimes girls just can’t seem to find. Overdoing it on calls and messages is one of the quickest ways to see yourself out of a man’s life. No one wants fifteen calls an hour from someone they hardly know, or from anyone for that matter, and contrary to what Usher says, it’s not cute to hang up and call right back.
Were You One-sidedly Planning Your Future Together?
No one wants to hear “Hi, my name is Jenny. I’d love to have a huge, elegant wedding, five kids, and a white picket fence.” No matter how amazing a first date seems to be going, no one wants to feel rushed and pressured. If you’ve already started planning out a life together, chances are you’ve probably scared the poor guy away.
Take things one step at a time. It’s ok to say that you’re looking for something to eventually be long-term, but avoid the wedding talk for a while. It’s also ok to vaguely mention wanting children down the road, but leave the name conversation for after that second pink line shows up on a test.
Was Old Baggage Unpacked?
First dates are a great time to get to know each other. All kinds of topics can come up. Most people try to keep it simple on that first encounter. What you do for a living, you favorite color, maybe even your cat’s name are all safe conversations to have.
If you have an ex that is crazy as hell and frequently stalks you, now would not be the time to mention that. I would also avoid topics such as your father’s issue with alcohol or your old drug habits, but that’s just me. If you did choose to bring up such things though, don’t act surprised that he’s chosen to not take things further.
Old baggage is something that should remain packed and stuffed in a mental closet for a while, not opened and exposed when you first meet someone. There are certain things in someone’s past that are unappealing to new people and should be introduced little by little over time.
Current drama can be even worse than past drama in this case. If you’re still going through a break up or dealing with an ex, then you come off as not available or not ready to move forward. To someone seeking a long term or stable situation, this is a major turn off.
Does The Man Have A Life?
Remember that great job of his? Is he at it? Does have a momma? Is he with her? Yes, you guys had a great night, but you just met each other and you can’t expect to be the man’s top or only priority. Whether it’s a doctor’s appointment, the gym, work, the car wash, or all of the above, people have things to do that don ‘t always allow them answer immediately or often.
Try to be patient. If he’s into you and wants things to go further, he will get back to you. And if he doesn’t, well then let that be ok. Save your dignity and go on another first date with someone new.
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